22 Jul 7 Types of Bridezillas and an Antidote to Each
Once upon a time in a land far, far away lived a fairy godmother (read: wedding planner) and her seven bridezillas — each with a distinguishing personality of their own. One indecisive, the other with tacky taste, another whose expectations run deeper than her pockets and the list goes on…
While weddings are meant to be a fairytale, these bridezillas are the stereotypical nightmare of every wedding planner.
Here, we round-up bridezillas you’re bound to meet at one point or another — ill-luck is at times inevitable — and the antidote to placate each personality type. Here’s to a happy ending and the antidote to placate the monster from rearing its evil head.
1. The Indecisive Bride
This is the one whose whims and fancies change faster than Taylor Swift moves on from one boyfriend to another. Chances are she will go back and forth enough times, eventually losing the plot. She is confused and boy is she confusing.
- Give this bridezilla very specific options. She can’t make up her mind so she could use the blinders to narrow her vision to the possibilities.
- Collect the receipts — keep records of conversations because lord knows, she would turn around and claim not to have settled on what was previously discussed and agreed upon.
- Weigh the pros and cons of each option for this indecisive Nancy to facilitate decision-making.
- Set a timeline and stick closely to it.
- No matter what you do, do not post this bride an open-ended question. Go down the multiple-choice options route with (a), (b), (c) and (d) none of the above not included.
- Do not make the decision for her — managing a hissy fit is not something we want to add to our list of to-do’s.
- Do not open up the conversation to the third, forth, fifth person. Opinions are like buttholes, everyone has them and most of them stink.
2. The bride with expectations deeper than her pocket
If her life were a meme, this bride would make for excellent content in the “expectations versus reality” type. Her expectations far exceed what the coins in her bank can buy her. She has her eyes set on Hervé Léger but can really only afford Fashionnova.com — your work is cut out for you in dragging her back down earth.
- First order of business: setting the budget straight. Be specific and tell her like it is — what can and cannot be done.
- Steer her in the direction of what her budget can buy her and when she veers off course, divert her attention back on the path of reality.
- Present her the closest possible alternatives to the stuff of her dreams and paint her the best case scenario.
- Tell her that you will attempt to bargain a deal. Do not give the girl hope and string her along — the lower the expectations, the better that will work in your favour.
- Over promise — you can only stretch a dollar so far.
3. The Emotional Nancy
By the stretch of the imagination, her waterworks could drown a city. Realistically, it could probably fill up a sink. She goes ballistic at the slightest inconvenience and you have to handle her with care, like you would a thin piece of mirror. You won’t want it cracking — least not before the day of the wedding.
- Start with the “bad” news and subsequently, distract her with the information she’d be delighted to hear. There’s a good chance she’d forget the grievance.
- Keep happy music playing in the background. It’s the art of distraction that you have to hone. Pin it on some feel good tunes by Prince would hold the floodgates.
- Build a close knit relationship — trust and a sense of security here is pivotal.
- Invalidate her emotions — no girl wants to know she’s being a melodramatic queen, even when she is.
4. Daughter of a Momzilla (the mother of the bridezilla)
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’ll be suffering a double whammy here, having to deal with not only the bridezilla but also bridezilla senior. You’re in a game of minesweeper and if you want to win, you need to know the right buttons to press.
- Come to a consensus between bridezilla and momzilla — have both parties sit in at meetings to ensure that everyone is on the same page.
- Be polite and keep your cool.
- Take on the role of a mediator. It may not be on your resume but it all comes with the territory. We want to spread love, not make war.
- Offer professional advice based on your previous experiences and use them as a case study for solving future problems.
- Put the bride in the middle. Do not force her hand at making decisions, instead, work at finding the best possible solution.
- Wage a war with the momzilla. She does, after all, rank higher on the ladder of authority than you do.
- Devalue the momzilla’s opinion. Mother’s always think they know best and there might be some validity to what they have to say. Hear them out, you never know what morsel of wisdom follows with age.
5. The Budget Bargaining Bride
This bride reads Ludacris’s “How Low Can You Go?” soundtrack as a bible. It’s all she wants to know in the finance department, regardless of how inexpensive the quotes may already be. It can always go
- Remind her that she is not just another client. Reassure her that you have her best interests at heart and willing to go the extra mile.
- Keep her updated on the checks and balances to keep her at ease with regards to expenditure.
- Here’s a secret tip: if the bride has not seen the vendor’s quote, tell her that it is, for example, $12,000 instead of the quoted $10,000. She WILL definitely ask for a discount. Come back to her after 48 hours and say, “phew, got it to $10,000”. Happy vendor, happy bride, happy you. TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK OF GETTING EXPOSED.
- Give into her constant cravings for a bargain — know when to say no!
6. The Basic Bride
As plain as white paper, this bride has not nearly seen enough to have built a visual vocabulary through informed choices. Chances are her references are taken from her equally basic friends from high school. Her basic instincts need to be retuned — more parred back Kim K than plain Jane. It’s a fine line between minimal and boring.
- Inspire her. Open up her eyes to the endless possibilities. Add her to your Pinterest board, send her moodboards and wedding ideas she can tweak to her liking.
- Take her idea and modify it. Subtle yet prominent changes are the way to make a difference without diverting too far off from her knack for being overly simple.
- Remember that it is not your wedding. You can’t paint white walls neon green without getting a reaction, you can however opt for off-white.
- Force your opinion onto the bride.
- Put it in your portfolio. Maybe we’ll leave this one out.
- Tell her she’s Basic AF
7. The Tacky Bride
There are two kinds of people in the world: the ones with taste and the ones without. The latter rings true for this category of bride. She’s that girl who thinks that themed weddings are imaginative and still relevant. More is more and this bride doesn’t know where to stop and that’s where you come in — OTT (over-the-top) is over.
- Point the calendar to her and have her know we live in 2019 to move her along with the times.
- Steer her vision towards modernity. Again, the eye has to travel to find beauty in new places.
- Subtract from her ideas.
- Tell her you want to gauge our eyes out when looking at her Pinterest board
- Force your opinion onto the bride.
- Again, we’d suggest skipping this one for the portfolio.
If you have offended the god of weddings and have to deal with a groomzilla too, here’s our solution for you.
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