Rain, Rain, Go Away

09 Jul Rain, Rain, Go Away

Posted at 08:45h in Wedding 101 by Stephanie

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There are many things that can go wrong on a wedding day but for the most part, these fires are not entirely impossible to put out.

The dress doesn’t fit? Find a new one.

The bride has an emotional breakdown? Feed her a few glasses of champagne.

If there is one thing entirely out of human control, it is the whims of Mother Nature. Never mind that the bride, groom, both sides of the family and friends traversed halfway across the globe to the awe-inspiring destination of a dream wedding, consider the party over if heaven hath no fury. Granted, wet weather plans may be in place to fall back on but a bride should not have to settle for second best on the one day meant to create memories for a lifetime.

Science may tell you averting the rain may be humanly impossible but if Kim Kardashian can balance a wine glass on her behind, we’d give these old wive’s tales a shot at keeping the storm clouds at bay.

1. Hire a Rain Stopper

You either have it or you don’t — we’d say this applies to ethereal cloud-moving abilities. Called rain stoppers, these guys divert bad weather for a profession. These highly sought after individuals have an impressive resume that even counts reputable, international hoteliers in their list of clientele.

Rooted in age-old Balinese tradition, the rain-stopping ritual typically involves small offerings and burning incense alongside a plate of fire (pengasepan) — the idea here is to push clouds away with the smoke rising up from the fire.

While your science lessons from school may have you second guessing the legitimacy of rain stopping, their track record — even more spotless than your fiance’s dating history — will surprise.

P.S. if you have doubts, here is proof for you:

2. Plant Chillies and Onions

Although coming from an ambiguous origin — its most commonly understood as a practice adopted by Malay fishermen — this might perhaps be the most common and widely-practiced ritual of the lot.

The two-ingredient ritual is low cost and essentially, a no brainer. Spear an onion and chilli through a satay stick (or anything else that is sufficiently long) and plant it in the premise. Sounds easy enough, but here’s the catch — it has to be planted by a virgin. If the fishermen could find a virgin, we reckon you’d be able to if you just look hard enough.

3. Cloud-seeding

If you’re skeptical of the woo-woo stuff, the scientific cloud-seeding method may be the one for you. It is a multimillion-dollar industry that promises results — given the hefty price tag that it warrants, you bet it works. To break down the complicated process to the unacquainted: It essentially involves taking an airplane to the air, releasing a concoction of chemicals into the clouds and forcing precipitation earlier than expected. This then leaves the neighbouring perimeters dry.

It might set you back on the finances but if results are guaranteed, we’d say it’s worth the buck.

4. An Egg for a Prayer

Amongst the many gods that one can paean to for cloudless skies, the nuns of Santa Clara are the ones to go to in the Catholic faith. Clara in Spanish translates to “a short interval of fair weather on a rainy day.” And the word clarapertains to the egg whites of an egg. When you put two and two together — Claras (egg whites) are being offered to Santa Clara to keep a particular date clara (fair in weather).

Wrap a dozen eggs in coloured cellophane paper, take it to church and say a prayer. What’s another leap of faith if you’re already nosediving into a commitment for the rest of your life?

5. Leave It to a Religious Statue

When it comes to willing away the rain, one can use all the help that they can get even if it means scouring the sequestered corners of the globe. According to Irish Catholic traditions, the statue of the Child of Prague is the gatekeeper of good weather.

Find a statue and set it in the garden for good weather — it is also said to encompass bonus doses of good luck.

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